Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
