ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
