ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
