I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
