4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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