guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
