haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
