saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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