You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you traded sex for a burrito?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
