What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
