If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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