He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
