hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
