I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
