Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
