My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
