he shaved USA in his pubs
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
