meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
