cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No subtext here. People are naked.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
