That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
