Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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