I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
