my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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