Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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