Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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