I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
