The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
