She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize