Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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