Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize