That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
