Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
