you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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