Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She said her name was "party"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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