went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize