thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
