no, he came in my armpit
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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