I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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