I just saw a hot homeless man
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
