i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
