Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
