You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They have beer where we have blood.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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