That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
