in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
