Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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