Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
