We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize