There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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