:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
