By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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