belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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