I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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