I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
