My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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