if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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