Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
