the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
