My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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