She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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