physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
