and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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