I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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