It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
