Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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