He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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