shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
