We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
