Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
