I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
