he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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