Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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