At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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