some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
