I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can I color on your dick again?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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